Don't fear the reaper

Sorry, pretty morbid title! But death has been on my mind recently.

Not necessarily as a looming, fearful incident, but more a niggling certainty. Almost like a transatlantic flight I really need to plan for. 

I know everyone has 'mortality moments' when you realise you are not indestructible. At some point, life will end for you. But your awareness of this becomes heightened when you are 'properly' ill. With modern healthcare being so good, it's easy to believe that something can always be done to preserve your life. But one day, the options are going to run out. 

It seems an obvious thing to say, but it seems likely that my death will be caused by RA or diabetes. That might be when I'm 80, but these two lifelong friends are likely to be contributors. When one of them is profoundly affecting daily living, it is easy to imagine this event far sooner. My joints have been really playing up, so I'm feeling pretty unwell at the moment. That's probably why this grim thought has been hanging around my head.

Now, I'm not 'afraid' of death - I believe in a loving God and that dying is not a disaster! But I do worry I won't get to experience all the wonderful things in this world. Mainly, I worry for my husband and the Little One.

As I was pondering unaffordable life insurance quotes and wanting to discuss a Domesday Plan with my husband, a very famous phrase popped into my head. "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" This has often seemed to me a twee platitude that people use when they don't know what to say, but suddenly Jesus' famous question became very literal and very relevant. I might die next week, but thinking about it isn't going to change it. Far better to spend valuable thought space on the wonders of today - playing with the Little One, eating fresh tomatoes from the garden, chatting to a good friend.

As a family, we only have a rough game plan should I die, but we figure there's nicer things to plan for!